Sunday, May 31, 2009

Annoyance



==========March 21 -Annoyance (first img above, end, second is start)

EEG report

This morning was a rather interesting experiment in that I was annoyed when I started my EEG session & wanted to see if I could get out the mood that I was currently in, as it was hardly conducive to my plans for the rest of the day. I was also definitely not in a mood to do any 'compassion' types of meditations.

Actually, for now I want nothing to do with compassion meditations anyway. I basically am doing this to try to become more effective in those areas that interest me.

I came across a very interesting paper on how to do exceptional research ( have a summary of this paper if anyone wants it). One of the tips was that you need to work in the system, as if you fight the system, your energies will be expended in changing the system, which you may accomplish, but alot of valuable time will be lost. I was trying to take some of this advice to heart. For example, at yesterdays IT meeting I had taken an opportunity to talk with the VP about doing a paper for him explaining how complexity theory could overcome some of the issues that had caused a project to be canceled (alert! alert! --more selfish scheming for how to get to do this project in the fashion I want to do it in, rather than the ahem, less than brilliant fashion we normally would do it in.) Therefore under the guise of, ahem, 'applying the latest complexity theory acadamians are using for risk management of large projects', I was attempting to satisfy my own selfish desires . Anyway, he was interested, and afterwards at the end of the 'large meeting' he asked for questions. Now normally I would have some choice question such as: 'almost all organizations have moved away from command & control structures as they exhibit poor characteristics for efficiency and innovation, do we have any such plans?'. This time I found myself actually behaving myself, which actually prompted the VP to ask somewhat surprised if I did not have any questions. So all this was simply to say, maybe this is an example of me getting incrementally smarter, or perhaps wiser would be a better term. It could also be an example of the VP knowing exactly how to manipulate me...

So in general, compassion meditations are out, as I seem to be able to get the state change I want without getting all soupy about it. But then again, I am always open to experimentation, as if I found I could get the gamma symmetry using the 'c' meditation, I would find it perfectly acceptable.

Back to the effectiveness of the eeg session. It took me about 20 minutes before I was beginning to get into what I will call the 'different state'. From the jpegs, you can see where I started (annoyed), and finished (not really thinking about it, so if I am not focusing on it, I will call it good).

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